Flight Of The Living Dead (3)

If there is junk out there like this trying to cash in on a current fad, then maybe there is a rash of zombie movies after all. The only reason that I didn't fast forward through this film was because I was waiting for something... something better, but it ever came. It's a 3 (I really shouldn't have watched this - nobody should).

Pick a setting (a plane flying through a storm), a b-grade horror plot (a zombie virus) and cliche characters (a retiring pilot, a nun, a cop, mad scientists et al), add in gore and the acting abilities of a damp sponge, and you have this film. Scientists are transporting dead fellow scientist in a refrigerated trunk on a standard passenger plane. She has died from a mutated malaria virus which can reanimate it's dead host. Flying through a storm, the case open and she begin to turn the passengers into more zombies. Luckily the cop, the air marshal, the guard, all have guns and loads of bullets so begins the zombie-gore-fest-shooting-spree.

There was only one thing that I liked in this film. The comic criminal who began chained to the cop - he was funny. I was hoping that this was a going to be a spoof or comedy, but it's just a lame blood bath that didn't manage to be very funny.

Ghost In The Shell (7)

I'm not really a fan of Japanese anime - all big eyes, school girls, and a stuttering motion - but this also had the gritty feel and death of cyberpunk of a series I really do like, Aeon Flux, as well as wonderfull colouring and scenes. The plot thoughtful and deep 7 (I'll have to watch it again to understand more).

A female cyborg working with Bato, mostly human, is hunting for a person known as the Puppet Master - he, or she, has been hacking into people. With the action of chase scenes, there are also philosophical discussions about what it means to human, and whether a robot without any human component, or ghost, but with it's memories and experience is human. There's also political wrangling. It builds to the final conflict and battle with the Puppet Master during which we discover what where it came from, and now what it wants.

The plot is not 100%clear and does not end with everything explained - it's very much Blade Runner where the future and motivations are slightly foreign to us. But that is something that I really like about. That and the philosophising. Even the cityscape was like Blade Runner. Mix in some Matrix and you'll have this film. Even if you don't like anime, if like sci-if then you'll enjoy this cyberpunk story.

Angel-A (6)

Angel-A by Luc Besson is a simple, delightful and romance comedy which is altogether thoroughly predictable. It's the fast pace dialogue and breathtaking filming that make it enjoyable - it's a 6 (it was good to watch and is an ideal lazy Sunday fare).

Andre, a failed con-man who owes a lot of nasty people a lot of money, decides to kill himself by jumping off a bridge. There, he meets a woman about to do the same, who jumps but is saved by Andre. The woman, Angela, then vows to help Andre with his own problems. Through what appears to be super seduction and super human strength, she resolves his money problems. But over yet another cigarette, she confesses that she is an angle sent to help him and that she has no idea of her past. Inevitably, Andre falls in love her and then attempts to help her with her own problems.

But even though the story is predictable, the fast pace banter and dialogue keep me delighted the speed and quirkiness of discussions. But by far the most outstanding thing about this film is it's filmed. It's film in black and white, very early mornings in Paris when the famous landmarks are deserted. Peoples faces, landmarks and details of famous icons are film with beautiful subtly that it is simply the most photographically amazing black and white film I have ever seen... it almost makes me want to visit Paris... almost ;)

Blade Runner (10)

I knew how good this going to be for the very simple reason I have seen it before. First, the theatrical release a few decades ago, and a few times since, the better directors cut. This is one of those films that that is in league of it's own - it's a 10 (after seeing it, you will be different). I was hesitant to rate is at the very top fearing that I'm just on the cult bandwagon of Blade Runner, but it really is this good.

In the near future, November 2019, Deckard (Harrison Ford) is a Blade Runner - a cop who hunts down replicants. Replicants are human look-a-like slave robots creates by genetics who rebelled and now must be killed on sight. Four have come back to Earth to their maker corporation and Deckard must "retire" them. He meets Rachael, the newest model that has been implanted with memories and does not know that she is a replicant. Replicants have only a four year life span and as they are hunted and die, life, their artificial life, becomes more and more precious to them.

This future nior film captures the near future in a sumptuous visual and audio feast with fly throughs of the city scape, gritty and dirty urban street life and a merging of cultures. It is definitely not the all gleaming white of other sci-fi films. The constant rain and smoke and darkness and pollution of huge mega cities is something that can almost been seen nowadays. This is probably one of the last truly great films created without computer generated effects - the effects were created in camera and they are all stunning, the city backdrops and fly throughs in particular.

Harrison Ford is at his best in this film. With gritty ease he creates a believable cop whose job it is to do the dirty work. And Rutger Hauer as a combat replicant performs both as a four year child, and a thing dying to live.

And life, is what this film is ultimately about. It builds up to an emotional crescendo of life and death on the roof top to which Deckard must then decide what to do about Rachael.

Full Circle (4)

This is one of seemingly many Michael Palin travel video diaries. But it is like all the others - light hearted commentary and very little substance. Maybe that's comforting to many but to me, it's all a little weak. Only a 4 (there must be better travel-logs than this!?).

In the Full Circle series, Michael travels around the Pacific rim, and in this first disk he goes from Alaska, through China, down Vietnam to the Philippines and countries in between. The trip is going to take one year and along with his crew of six people and 43 pieces of luggage, frequent first class accommodation and helicopter flights, his comments of an arduous journey come across a little mocking. For such a short time in each place, he can not convey much of the history or culture, and has to make do with polite conversation with the locals. Here his easy charm and character excel, and along with a film crew that I know that seem to exude a mysterious power that makes others happy to go out of their way and take part in the filming.

For me, I think I am beginning to understand when it comes to travel, nothing beats a book. Books have so much more information, can be more historical, wondrously funny or much more insightful. A short film like these have only one thing going for them, they are short.

Ratatouille (6)

I'm happy that I watched Ratatouille but feel that I could have spent my time doing something much better (I've got book I'm dying to start). It was an ok film that lacked the warmth of friendship that others of this type have in spades. It's a 6 (it was fine, but I looked at my watch a lot during it wondering when it would end).

Remy the rat loves fine food, unlike the rest of his family who would steal and eat any old garbage. After being separated from his family, he is lead by the ghost of his favourite chef to his once five star restaurant. There Remy becomes friends with the kitchen garbage boy, Linguini. Working in secret partnership, they begin to create exciting and new dishes that wow the guests. The new restaurant owner, Skinner, is desperate to find out the secret and hunts down Remy. And the critic, Anton Ego, challenges the new and upcoming cook to do his best! It's not easy keeping a rat a secret in a top class kitchen!

For some reason, this movie seemed to lacking the warmth of others. There are budding friendships, but neither the kind of "I've known you for so long that I can make jokes at your expense" or the "I'll do secretive they'll never know, to help" kind. The cartooning is for kids, and yet the vocabulary is for people more advanced, and the morals are force feed to the viewers as blatantly as can be. Best if you are under 10 years old.

Just the very ending, from when the critic tastes the ratatouille, the flash back, and particularly his review, is very good. That was when I forgot that I was watching a cartoon of a character in a place he wasn't supposed to be, and enjoyed what was being said by the story (even though the morals were still obvious).

Resident Evil - Extinction (6)

I don't think that there is rash of zombie movies, it's just my bad luck in seeing this straight after the awful Planet Terror. But even though the plot is almost unimaginatively come, this was a mildly enjoyable way to wile away a few hours. It's a 6 (it was fine because it has some winning style).

Some world covering virus is converting everyone to zombies, a small of survives drifts from city and are saved from an attack of zombie crows by the Alice (the stunning Milla Jovovich). So far, nothing original. In Mad Max style, they cruise the desert looking for a save haven eventually discover the mad scientists lair, who has turned himself into the uber-zombie. he has also been making clones of Alice to develope zombie medicines to turn them into an army. Needless to say ... well, it's needless to that Alice that the mad scientist battle it out at then end so I wont say it.

So there is nothing original in the plot. But it was full of action, had some great photography (boots stood out) and some pretty neat special effects - like the desert taking back Las Vegas. This film is actually the third in the series so seeing 1 and 2 would have probably helped me in understanding some of the things that were going on.

However the most amazing thing about the zombie virus, was that it mostly seemed to leave alive only very gorgeous women! Interesting that.

Planet Terror (3)

This horror is exactly what it says on the tin - horrible. This B-movie spoof is worth only a 3 (a joke or two made me smile, but I really want to forget this film).

The story is a classic B-movie horror - a military gas turns most of the nearby people in violent zombie and a small band of survivors team up to beat them. Of course during the struggle the two lover reunite, the daughter and father make up and the two fighting brothers forgive each other. Along the way they shoot, cut, stab, run over, and helicopter mow through the zombies with complete gore and splatter sound effects. There was almost nothing likable about this film... except...

This film is made like a very poor stock - lots of scratches and colour shifts, hairs and flickering. The bit I did like was about half way through, there is a film burn out, a "Missing Reel" notice, then the story continues from some point in the future when people are suddenly all hiding out together and some important events have taken place, but we don't know what happened, only the result. I liked that, it was funny, and it made the film shorter! But if the best part of the film is missing part, then I hardy need to describe how bad the rest is.

The Good, The Bad And The Ugly (9)

I'm not sure what the term "spaghetti western" denotes, but this one of them, and by accounts, one of the best of them. By my account, it's one of the best of all movies! A 9 (so good, that I own it!).

The story is complex and involved, but it boils down to three men after buried army money. The good, Blondie (Clint Eastwood) and the ugly, Tuco, used to work together but now enjoy almost killing one another. The mistrust increases when each of them get a half of the secret of where the money is buried. An old rival, the bad Angel Eyes, has heard of this money and uses his position in the army to get the two men. With the civil war waging around them, the three of them lie, cheat, torture and nearly kill each other for the gold. They race from open landscape to civil battle to the graveyard for a sublime ending.

The Bad is truly bad. He'll use every dirty trick to get what he wants, plus he wears black. The Ugly is the comedic kniving bad luck victim of circumstances. And while the results of his efforts go from good to bad and back and forth again, you might just end up routing for him. The Good, is the classic stoic silent guy who can sharp shot anything, even a hangman's noose. He feels the pathos of the war dying solders but anyone in his way will soon be dead.

There are so many good things in film. The close up portrait photography is something that more films should do. The complex story is something to really entertain the mind. The characters and their mannerisms add to the whole feel. And finally, the music is divine - especially "The Ecstasy of Gold" when Tuco is searching the graveyard (the best rendition is on the album S&M - San Fransisco Orchestra and Metallica).

It is a long film as it should be - nobody talks for the first ten minutes and then the paces goes slowly to the climax over three hours later. But you don't need to make sure that you are comfortable, you wont notice how cosy or not you are because you'll be so engrossed in the story and characters!

Arsenic and Old Lace (8)

This 1944 film with Cary Grant was a great. It is obviously from a stage play (it all takes place in one room) but the comedy was brilliant! I smile even now just thinking about some of he scenes. It's a 8 (well worth digging up for a good laugh)

Mortimer Brewster takes his new wife to meet his two Aunts. The Aunts, who flounce about like only a turkey on a trampoline can flounce, seem to be the sweet doddering relatives, except that they've been killing people; of course, in their own sweet way.
When Mortimer discovers this, he goes manic trying to cover it up and thinks that their insane brother could be the answer to his problems. But then, Mortimer's long lost brother criminal brother comes back, complete with a botched plastic surgery job, a doctor on the run, and yet another body. More confusion, mix ups, cover up and some great slapstick begin.

Imagine Little Shop of Horrors without the singing mixed with a spoof of Frankenstein and film nior and you might start to go insane, but that's getting to what this film is about. It's a silly mix of unbelievably wacky characters who are doing their best to do what they think is right - be it kill lonely people, cover up murders, or have recursive plot telling stories (which was very funny!). The scene in almost pitch black when people are trying to sneak about with bodies was hilarious. The start was a little slow and some of the characters a little weak, but once the brother arrives, it all goes wonderfully berserk - Mortimer is the way that Basil Faulty would behave if he was confronted with such a situation.

The doctor with his Igor mannerisms is wonderful, just missing the lisp... "yeth mathter".

District 13 (5)

This film, Banlieue 13, is all an action, guys being tough and techno music flick. Luckily, it's not needlessly stretched out and is only 1:15 long and was a watchable 5 (I wouldn't want to watch it again, but it was ok).

In 2010 in a walled off ghetto of Paris, and a gang is after Leito. Luckily for Leito, he is a pro at parkour - leaping and climbing through buildings - and has an impressive chase. But his sister is captured and ends up being imprisoned by the police. Six months later, the gang steal a city destroying bomb so a cop, Damien, teams up with Leito (for this inside knowledge of the ghetto, District 13) to retrieve it. Damien wants the bomb, Leito wants his sister and they are both after the same gang. Que lots of fights, martial arts, leaping about, a car chase, loads of bullets as these two super athletes take them on.

This is very much a film to show off Parkour and the gymnastics of the two heroes - the opening Parkour chase is good. The laws of physics are not smashed to bits by what people do in this film, though they are bent are few times. The action is also pretty good, much like Jackie Chan using anything at his disposal, but without the comedy. The idea for the story wasn't bad - it is straight forward, so there's no need for any cerebral activity while watching. It is let down by some poor acting, improbable bad guys and improbable police and very poor dubbing from French into English. Please stop dubbing films, just give me subtitles!!

Finally, why do the good guys always run down the middle of the street when being chased by the bad guys in cars? This is very common, and very weak!! But they usually outrun the cars too!

High Sierra (3)

I was told by a fan "They don't make films like this anymore" but after seeing it, I can see why they don't make films like this any more. It is just bad; come to think of it, they unfortunately still do make plenty of films like this. It is only a 3 (I watched it all, but it was a very hard thing to do).

A criminal who is released from prison joins a gang to rob a hotel. Roy Earle (Humphrey Bogart) is the tough mean guy who woman transform into soft focus for. In the getaway some of the gang die, and the police find out that it was him who carried out the robbery. Struggling for cash, Earl, his new girlfriend and their dog try to evade the police. In the end, Earl is in a desperate police cash across the Sierra mountains.

The story is simple enough, but there just so many things I didn't like the characters. First of Earl is supposedly shown being nice but all the his doing is helping a family who young daughter he fancies - he must be about 40 plus, she is only 20 but acts 10 (at first I really thought that she was retarded). Sexism is rife throughout out the film, as well some racial stereotyping too that is now just so wrong. Earl is an unkind, and worst of all, an uninteresting character. All the other characters revolve around him so there's next no story to them either.

So why didn't I fast forward trough this film and giving it 2? There were moments of promise and potential. Earl is supposed to be some washed out criminal - there is some reminiscing with the good line "..you twerps, soda jerkers and twitterbugs..." when talking about the young - yet this theme was nothing more than a fleeting whisper. When I resumed watching (yes, I stopped, for two days!) the second half became an interesting "run from the police" storyline, but it still couldn't make up for the dismal first.