Solaris (5)

I had heard that the remake of this film was worse than the original. If that is so, then I'm glad that I watched this original from 1972 because even that was not so good. I give it a 5 (I've seen it once, maybe I'll enjoy it more the next time).


After a scientists mysteriously kills himself, Kris is sent to the space station Solaris to find out what is going on. The station is a mess, and the other two scientists are behaving strangely. The ocean planet below is some sort of ocean intelligence that can change thoughts into reality, and it materialises Kris's wife who has been dead for a decade. She is confused about her identity - philosophical discussions about life, and what is means to be human ensue. A fever creates vivid fantasies which become mixed with alternate reality. Kris resigns to return to Earth... almost.


The film is very slow, with long shots and wide angles reminiscent of 2001 A Space Odyssey. There is a five minute segment of driving along Japanese highways (I read the signs) that might sound painful to watch, but it fits this film. Even the segments drained of colour are ok. The story descends into confusion of love and death, and contact with understandable alien intelligence, but that also fits this film. I don't really care about the philosophical questions, but it got me thinking. And it's a depressing film of death and life, but I'll remember it for a long time because of it's unusualness. This film does not give obvious answers, or any answers at all, there are no spectacular special effects or monsters, so don't expect your eyes to be entertained, it will tickle your brain instead.

By the way, the dubbing is very good for this Russian film, unlike in Daywatch. However, there were a few passages in the film when the dubbing stopped, and subtitles had be used - maybe these sections were restored.

Some Like It Hot (7)

Some Like It Hot has got to be one of the most well known movies, but I had never seen it before. This 1959 classic was a charmingly fun 7 (I enjoy watching it and wouldn't mind seeing it again).
Two musicians witness a gang-land killing after the Mozarella's Funeral Parlour is busted - it's an illegal bar in dry Chicago. The musicians escape by disguising themselves as woman and join a woman's musical group who are leaving cold snowy Chicago and going to sunny Florida. Bring on all the expected jokes and sticky situations like the "girls" party in the train. Joe "Josephine" falls for Sugar (Marilyn Monroe) and pretends to a be millionaire with his own yacht to win her. Meanwhile, Jerry "Daphne" must fend off the amorous advances of real millionaire. Just when things are are suitable confused and chaotic, the mob arrives - a quick get away with hearts intact, both physical and metaphorical, is required.

This film was pure slapstick comedy, with a light hearted romancing between Marilyn Monroe and the more serious musician Joe (Tony Curtis) which was funny as well as being oh-so-very-very-slightly touching. The other musician Jerry (Jack Lemmon) was played over the top to great effect and gave it all that extra manic urgency and wild energy. These two stumbling guys as girls was a laugh. And the cliched gangsters in the film were perfect - the spats, the toothpick, the tossing of the coin - to show that there was some menace, without being a menace at all. Finally, the obligatory Marilyn Monroe shot.

M (8)

Once you get past the ancient 1931 scratchy static poor quality and get into the German, this film begins to really shine. The story starts slow but builds up to suspenseful and moral tale of crime and justice. It would make for fantastic episode in any of today's great crime programs (bring back Prime Suspect!). This is an 8 (I was drawn in losing sense of time). Get over the quality, get into the era and get into this film.

In this film-noir a murder is snatching children off the city streets - his silhouette against the reward poster talking to girl starts the horror of another mother. The police clamp down on the city, searching illegal bars and disrupting the criminal underground who vow to hunt for the murder too. Eventually the murder is trapped in an office block by the criminals, who break in and snatch him away. The police capture one of the gang and through integration that could have come from any modern crime program today, they find where he has been taken. Meanwhile, the gang and the public are holding a mock court to decide the murder's fate. When doubt begin to creep in that perhaps he was not responsible, it raises the moral questions of mob justice, and who really should determine guilt, and the punishment.

Everything about the story would not be out of place in a film or program today - the police investigation with thorougher record checking and forensics, the public hysteria and fear accosting innocent people on the streets, and the underworld with the hide and seek in the building. Even the filming, as poor as the quality was, still was captivating with interesting shots and lighting, and drawn out suspenseful clips. The frightened, chest clutching fear of the trapped murder, to the methodical police and angry pubic were all portrayed and acted well.

Another aspect to enjoy is its age - see the Mickey "Rat" in the back of this confectionery store? And everyone smokes so much that sometimes the smoke completely obscures the people.

When is someone going to make a remake? They would have a hard time doing better than the original.

Ocean's Thirteen (5)

The first one was poor, the second was so bad that I'm still undergoing hypnotherapy to help repress the memories, luckily, this third film in the series is better, but only marginally. Set your mind to "disengage" for this film - it is at best a 5 (I watched, but I also watched my watch wondering when it would end).

Reuben has a heart attack after being forced out of a casino partnership by Mr Bank (Al Pacino). Ruben's gang lead by Mr Ocean (George Clooney) decide to get revenge on Mr Bank by making Mr Bank's new casino fail. How can you make a casino fail? Easy, make sure that everyone who plays there, wins, and before continuing to gamble away their winnings, make them cash out. By impossible computer hacking they break into the security system, by impossible physics they rigs games (and even put a computer killing magnetron in a cell phone!), and by impossible trickery they make sure that a secret guest reviewing the new casino has the worst experience imaginable. Then to really top off impossible things, they fake an earthquake by getting the Channel Tunnel digger to dig under the casino hotel (the real Chunnel digger is much more impressive than the one made up toy in this film). There's no surprise ending, they succeeded in breaking the bank.

I suspect that this was supposed to be a "stylish" film, but everything filmed in yellow does not make it stylish. Maybe having Hollywood big names and heartthrobs was supposed to make it stylish, but they all behaved the same - there were no interesting gang characters; it's as though there was only one. The plastics factory guy and Al Pacino, playing Al Pacino, where the most interesting, which was not very much. Some style was achieved with split screen shots, and little tricks like the dollar value of each player floating above their head during the climatic winning streak. One thing that puzzled and annoyed me was just how did they all manage to get into the insider jobs? Ultimately, it was a straight forward story of guys trying to be too cool carrying out some techno-wizardry - it's not a con job, it's an elaborate robbery. And this film robbed two hours from me that I kinda would like back.

Napoleon Dynamite (3)

As the main character, Napoleon Dynamite said, "This is pretty much the worst video ever made", and I'd have to agree. This bumbling pointless mess is only a 3 (I fast forwarded through the extra part bad parts).

Napoleon Dynamite is a gangly angry person with the social skills of computer geek (he'll probably become rich in real life) but at school, he is nerd picked upon. He helps his friend Pedro run for class president, and has to put with his uncle who has come to stay and his brother with his chat room girlfriend. (Still not sure if it really was girl though). At least the dance near the end had me smiling, but the rest of the film was tiresome bore of school and home life. The dysfunctional family of Little Miss Sunshine does it much better.

There's a lot of "straight on" filming, and with the mid 80's setting, it is just not pleasing to see. I wonder if the final ten minutes tacked on after the credits was a last minute attempt to save the movie - sadly, it didn't.

(I've been asked how I watch a film in fast forward; I can still read the subtitles understanding what's going on while fast forwarding at twice the speed, but only endure the pain for half the time. Phew.)

The Blue Planet, 8

Just simply stunning. This is one of the "must watch" documentaries that you, well, must watch! David Attenborough narrates an exploration of the world's oceans covering everything from poles to the equator and from the estuaries to the surf to the deep dark depths.

I missed this when it was broadcast on TV, but I can see why it was talked about in the office the next day. The eight episodes of one hour each cover a topic such as "Frozen Seas" (which showed life at the poles including polar bears, seals, penguins, birds, fish...) and "Coral Seas" (showing the vibrate, crowded, and shark infested warm waters of the tropics). I particularly enjoyed "The Deep" for the amazing and strange animals that lurk in in the almost unreachable depths. There are some extra episodes of "the making of" which are documentaries made the film crew about themselves and their gear, but as skillful as their diving and film abilities are, it doesn't compare to the main series.

It clearly dawns that life in the ocean is pretty much all about just two things - food and sex (same as all life really). Killer whales beaching themselves to snatch seal pubs, bait balls hunted from above and below, world wide migration for mating, poisons and camouflage, sea life is a constant struggle - though dolphins and few rare others seem to enjoy some playing too.

The filming is stunning, the science and facts presented are fascinating and the life in the oceans is more marvelling than imaginable. A brilliant 8 (I'll tell everyone that they must see it). It's not one to enjoy repeatedly, but the first time will astound anyone.

My Super Ex-Girlfriend (4)

Oh no. On this lazy long afternoon I wanted to enjoy some fun comedy, some humour and some interesting story. But I was way wrong to watch My Super Ex-Girlfriend. This was painful. I rate it only a 4 (I wish someone had told me so that I wouldn't see it).

Matt dumps his girlfriend, Jenny. But she's has a secret identity of being the super hero G-Girl, and she doesn't like getting dumped! She begins to harass Matt and new his girlfriend by doing things like putting his car in orbit. G-Girl's first boy friend has become her arch rival, Professor Bedlam, who teams with Matt to stop her.

If it all sounds like a very childish story you'd be exactly right. Except it's not a film for kids, there is too much sex and adult jokes. And it's not a film for teenagers, it's too cute and there's not enough gothic brooding or violence. I don't know who this film is for - not for me, and probably not for anyone. It's as though the actors and film crew had a spare weekend and decided to throw this rubbish together just so that they could have a launch party to go to on Sunday night.

New Zealand 2 (3)

You know those tacky tourist t-shirts that say something like "My Grandparents went to Fiji and all I got was this t-shirt"; The kind you reluctantly wear just once then stuff deep in the bottom of a drawer so that it can be forgotten? This TV program is like that, you forcefully watch it just once and then wish that you could forget it. "New Zealand 2" is only a 3 (I wish I hadn't seen it).

Two travellers record their trip around New Zealand in what is not much a promotional show (thank goodness) but more of a one hour video diary. Of course being part of a film production they get to spend more and have greater access to things that most travellers cant. They start out with the cliches, sheep, Lord of the Rings, before attending some events such as the Hokitika Wild Foods Festival (for some delicacies like huhu grubs, duck tongues, steamed fish eyes and mountain oysters), before finally exploring some scenery, especially the Milford Track.

The filming is poor (what is it with those blurry, grainy shots anyway!?), the banter hackneyed ("The city's nickname is windy Wellington, I'm calling it wet Wellington"), and it doesn't inspire me to visit. The only good news is, that they missed out my favourite place in all of NZ, and I'm not going to tell where it is!

3:10 to Yuma (9)

If you think that trip to the train in the morning commute is a tiresome chore, make sure that you stop all that you are doing and watch 3:10 To Yuma to see the difficultly Dan has. 3:10 To Yuma kept me more spellbound, more interested and more intrigued than any other film I have seen recently. It's a 9 (it was brilliant!). Don't be put off that this is western, it has a gripping plot, great acting and heart pounding action.

Dan (Christian Bale) is a struggling farmer who's son think that's he is a failure. But when Dan stumbles upon the chance to escort the ruthless killer Ben Wade (Russell Crowe) to the nearby town for $200, he joins the escort party. The party is being chased by Ben's gang led by the homicidally insane Charlie (Ben Foster) to stop them from putting Ben on the 3:10 prison train to Yuma from Contention. Through troubles and attacks, the party is reduced one by one until they reach the town. There is the tense count down to catch the train and face the gang that is waiting - and steam train and throbbing sound effect for it add even more drama to the final confrontation.

Every character is interesting. Charlie, the psychopathic gang leader during Ben's absence is entertainingly over the top, Ben the cold murder warms, Dan struggles for his family and most of all for his son, and his son goes from seeing his dad as a failure to a hero. All others add to the layered plot - becoming a hero, looking up to parent, appreciating life's struggle, doing good, singled minded killing. The filming is majestic, the effects spot on. The only little thing that prevented me from giving it the top mark, was that it's a "classic western" - you know fairly well what will happen. Even though there are no mind shattering twists or shocks, it is very, very good and wildly entertaining.

A Good Year (7)

A last, an enjoyable film. If someone called it a "romance comedy", I would have been put off because calling it that is not quite right. There is the usual comedy, but with more warmth and wonderful photography to indulge in.

Max (Russell Crowe) is a flashy top stock broker full of power and brash, who goes to France to sell his uncles chateau that he has just inherited. He meets the locals - the winemaker and his family - and the not so locals - the young woman from America, Christie, claiming to his uncle's daughter. And he literally runs into the waitress, the stunningly gorgeous Fanny (Marion Cotillard), who after being run off the road she leaves him stuck humorously in a empty pool. Of course, Max falls for the place, the lifestyle and most of all, Fanny.

Crowe is not very good at comedy so he subdues it and thank goodness for that; any other person might have made too much of it and blown the warmth of the story. That plonker, that foppish floppy haired pillock Hugh Grant would have ruined this! Most everyone, from Max's uncle who is seen in flashbacks, to the winemaker to his dog is charming. The filming is wonderful with delicate lighting. Some odd scenes (what was that tennis match all about, for example) and simple "tie up all the loose ends" ending weaken. It's a nice, light film of funny romantic fantastic to enjoy, best with some wine. I rate it a 7 (it was good, I'd watch it again).